Untitled by Laura Lanks

You got ants in your pants?
Why can’t you sit still?
You left your PE kit again
Now you can’t do ball skills
Look who’s late again
But you don’t even look sorry
Eyes wide I keep my pride
Then leave class in a hurry

If the teacher had a dunce hat
It would be planted on me
Ears poking out of the sides and all eyes on me
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
But mine are flitting from pillar to post
Trying to sit still but I’m popping like toast
Every five seconds
Those ants are biting me
I just can’t hold my focus for more than 2, 3

“Doctor, Doctor, my child is failing school
Not interested in class and he can’t follow rules
He is truanting and climbing and is in the wrong crowd
I’d rather home school him but that’s not allowed”

“Don’t worry miss, your son will be fine
He has the brain of a man but the body of 9
attention like a fish
but energy of a storm
I have a solution for you
And it comes in pill form”

Ritalin, Concerta, amphetamine based
Adverse effects and weighed to your taste
You can come and pick them up once per week
You can bet your bottom dollar that your son will sleep
Even when he’s talking, when he’s walking,
Your son will feel in slumber
Your son will sleep

On interview today he was pleasant and cooperative.
He attended on time and he was unaccompanied
He was calm and relaxed and developed good rapport
His speech was normal in rate, tone volume and score
Mood was subjectively and objectively euthymic.
There was no evidence of a formal thought disorder.
Cognitively he was alert and orientated to time, place and person.
He has taken the medication as prescribed and continues to benefit from this
but does require a higher dose as above
but does require a higher dose as above
but does require a higher dose as above

eyes closed head back
swallow your pills
drowsiness, nausea
a severe lack of thrills
erectile dysfunction
head thumping
you never want to eat

but now my son is never late
and he don’t scream in the street

the ants still bite me
I just can’t feel them now
but I’m always on time
and I don’t scream in the street

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